My place to come have a nice cup of mocha, and share what I feel God has put on my heart. Feel free to share my blog and posts with others or on other sites if you'd like. Wanting to share God's love with as many as possible. :)
Saturday, April 25, 2020
Dianne's Mocha Loft: I am writing this over 5.5 years after my last blo...
Dianne's Mocha Loft: I am writing this over 5.5 years after my last blo...: I am writing this over 5.5 years after my last blog post on here. So much has happened since then. Since then... Life has knocked ...
I am writing this over 5.5 years after my last blog post on here. So much has happened since then.
Since then...
Life has knocked me down more than a few times. And it has definitely shown me things I never wanted to see. Sometimes the eyes only see what the eyes want to see. But a bitter reality can sure tear those blinders off in an instant. And once they are off you have no choice but to see what was in front of you all along. All of the little things my mind knew didn't make sense, but brushed aside because the knowledge of what was going on was just too painful for a heart that just wanted to love and be loved.
Once that revelation began was the day I met my ex-husband for the first time, the man behind the mask I thought I had known for the last 8 years. I had seen a glimpse of that person behind a crack here and there. But I didn't think it was really him. You know how you think... he must just be having a bad day, he didn't really mean it like that, or maybe I just took it the wrong way. Exactly what a narcissist wants you to think. He can in fact orchestrate those feelings in you before you realize what's going on. You become his puppet, a part of his show. He is the writer, producer, main character, the good guy, and sometimes even the villian. All others are extras. They aren't around for the whole play and don't see everything. They are just there when needed. In fact you aren't around when not needed either. He has a stand in ready to fill your shoes. If those shoes fit better you may be replaced. Leave the show before it's over and he will come up with a whole new script, in which he will play the victim of course. If you get a fingernail into one of those cracks in his mask and expose the evil face behind it, watch out. It's in that moment that you will find out just what he is capable of.
If you have found yourself involved with one of these people I would urge you to get away from him/her as soon as possible. What they are doing to you is abuse. Even if they don't lay a finger on you physically they are bruising up your heart and soul, which I believe is far more damaging. And even if you do think it is okay to stay as long as there is no physical violence... It took 8 years before my ex-husband left a physical bruise on me. And you know, when I think of the abuse he put me through, it usually isn't the physical violence my thoughts go to. It is the raised voice, demeaning tone, belittling remarks, lies, cheating, mind games, etc. All those come to mind before a bruise on the skin. Those always heal in time. Bruises on the inside never do. I do believe they can be healed. But not with time. And they don't heal without facing the pain that put them there.
And I guess that is why it has been over 5 years since I have written a blog post and why I am going to start writing again. That and God told me to. ;) Bringing up all the buried pain is like ripping off a band-aid and exposing a dirty, infected wound. But what happens if I don't is a far worse consequence. I have read that in order to heal from trauma you have to feel your feelings. I have spent so much of my life trying to avoid them. So this will be new to me.
I wish I could say that was my only abusive relationship. My first ex-husband was an overt narcissist. But that's a whole other blog post. My second ex-husband, described above, is of the covert variety.
So over the past 5 years since my last blog, through all of the knock downs, unwanted revelations, sadness, failures, and more, I can say that I have become stronger, and I have grown through it. I am so much different than I was. I stand up for myself now. Leaving and divorcing him took an extreme amount of courage. I was totally dependent on him and I was afraid I couldn't make it on my own. But I am making it. He laughed at me when I said I was leaving and said where will you go. I told him I would find a place. And I did. And I haven't in any time since not had a place. I learned to trust in God instead of men. And though it hasn't been a steady climb, and I have fallen more times than not, I have and always will get up.
I hope everyone is doing good. I am in the process of starting a blog on WordPress if anyone is interested. I will post the link on here as soon as I do. I actually go by my first name now. So it will be under the name Sarah.
Much love to everyone,
Sarah (Dianne)
Since then...
Life has knocked me down more than a few times. And it has definitely shown me things I never wanted to see. Sometimes the eyes only see what the eyes want to see. But a bitter reality can sure tear those blinders off in an instant. And once they are off you have no choice but to see what was in front of you all along. All of the little things my mind knew didn't make sense, but brushed aside because the knowledge of what was going on was just too painful for a heart that just wanted to love and be loved.
Once that revelation began was the day I met my ex-husband for the first time, the man behind the mask I thought I had known for the last 8 years. I had seen a glimpse of that person behind a crack here and there. But I didn't think it was really him. You know how you think... he must just be having a bad day, he didn't really mean it like that, or maybe I just took it the wrong way. Exactly what a narcissist wants you to think. He can in fact orchestrate those feelings in you before you realize what's going on. You become his puppet, a part of his show. He is the writer, producer, main character, the good guy, and sometimes even the villian. All others are extras. They aren't around for the whole play and don't see everything. They are just there when needed. In fact you aren't around when not needed either. He has a stand in ready to fill your shoes. If those shoes fit better you may be replaced. Leave the show before it's over and he will come up with a whole new script, in which he will play the victim of course. If you get a fingernail into one of those cracks in his mask and expose the evil face behind it, watch out. It's in that moment that you will find out just what he is capable of.
If you have found yourself involved with one of these people I would urge you to get away from him/her as soon as possible. What they are doing to you is abuse. Even if they don't lay a finger on you physically they are bruising up your heart and soul, which I believe is far more damaging. And even if you do think it is okay to stay as long as there is no physical violence... It took 8 years before my ex-husband left a physical bruise on me. And you know, when I think of the abuse he put me through, it usually isn't the physical violence my thoughts go to. It is the raised voice, demeaning tone, belittling remarks, lies, cheating, mind games, etc. All those come to mind before a bruise on the skin. Those always heal in time. Bruises on the inside never do. I do believe they can be healed. But not with time. And they don't heal without facing the pain that put them there.
And I guess that is why it has been over 5 years since I have written a blog post and why I am going to start writing again. That and God told me to. ;) Bringing up all the buried pain is like ripping off a band-aid and exposing a dirty, infected wound. But what happens if I don't is a far worse consequence. I have read that in order to heal from trauma you have to feel your feelings. I have spent so much of my life trying to avoid them. So this will be new to me.
I wish I could say that was my only abusive relationship. My first ex-husband was an overt narcissist. But that's a whole other blog post. My second ex-husband, described above, is of the covert variety.
So over the past 5 years since my last blog, through all of the knock downs, unwanted revelations, sadness, failures, and more, I can say that I have become stronger, and I have grown through it. I am so much different than I was. I stand up for myself now. Leaving and divorcing him took an extreme amount of courage. I was totally dependent on him and I was afraid I couldn't make it on my own. But I am making it. He laughed at me when I said I was leaving and said where will you go. I told him I would find a place. And I did. And I haven't in any time since not had a place. I learned to trust in God instead of men. And though it hasn't been a steady climb, and I have fallen more times than not, I have and always will get up.
I hope everyone is doing good. I am in the process of starting a blog on WordPress if anyone is interested. I will post the link on here as soon as I do. I actually go by my first name now. So it will be under the name Sarah.
Much love to everyone,
Sarah (Dianne)
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
He Lifts Me Up
With my God's help. Have to add that. He is the reason I always get up. He lifts me up and never lets me go. Reaches out His hand, and I take it, because I know I need Him, and I know He loves me. He is always there for me. Brings comfort to my heart and rest for my soul. And He is just a prayer away to anyone who calls on Him.
#never alone
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
James 4:8a
In His Peace,
Dianne
Thursday, September 18, 2014
His Outstretched Hand
Matthew 14:22-33
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
When Peter got his focus off of Jesus and fell into the water, notice Jesus didn't shout to him to get up, but reached out His hand to help him up. Jesus wants us to depend on Him for help back up when we get our focus off of Him and fall. We have a tendency to try and do things on our own, but that isn't how Jesus designed us. We are like sheep that can not survive without our Shepard. He wants to lead us back to Himself and is always there to help us. He is our loving Savior. When we fall the first step is to reach up and take His outstretched hand.
In His Hands,
Dianne Hinshaw
Monday, July 7, 2014
The Enemy
Luke 1:79
To give light to those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death,
To guide our feet into the way of peace.”
James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
The enemy to darkness is light. It is hard to bring to light shameful things that we have done or that have been done to us, but keeping sin in the dark gives it more power. Find one or more people you can trust and confide in them and then together confide in God through prayer. The more light you have the better you can see your way out of the darkness.
May our lights stay shining,
Dianne
Sunday, March 23, 2014
God's Love
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff,they comfort me.You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Romans 8:15
For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”
Luke 15:4-6
So He spoke this parable to them, saying:
“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.
God doesn't love you if..... God doesn't love you when..... He just loves you. His love isn't based on what we do. There is nothing we could do to make Him love us more. And when you stumble he doesn't love you any less. He is there waiting to pick you back up. He knows our life from beginning to end and has a good plan for us. So when you stumble, don't stay down. Immediately reach up to Him, because He already has His hand reaching down to to help you back up. Jesus paid the price for every sin we have committed and every sin that we will commit in the future. There is no sin He will not forgive if we confess and turn back to Him. He will set us back on the right path. The key is to stay close to Him. Don't walk ahead of him or behind, but right by His side and when the way gets too hard allow Him to carry you.
If you are struggling in your faith, and feel as if you can't stay on the path, falling into every pit along the way, and feeling like giving up, know that God is there waiting for you. Look up to Him and take hold of His outstretched hand. He knows the path, beginning to end and will guide you. And if you have never experienced the love God has for you I would really urge you to come to Him and allow Him to be your loving Father. There is nothing in this world that can compare to the love and peace I feel in fellowship with my Heavenly Father. We are His creation that He gave His life for. That is a love that nothing can compare to.
In God's Love,
Dianne
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
The Language of Tears
Psalm 6:8b
For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping.
Psalm 56:8
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.
John 11:33-36
Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. And He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”
Psalm 34:17-18
The Lord hears His people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
As it shows in the above verses, God knows what we are going through and cares for us deeply. He even shares in our tears and cries with us. And when your heart is so crushed that you can't even find the words to pray, remember that God knows the language of your tears. Just lift up your hands and cry to Him. In return He will reach down to you and comfort your heart with His love and peace.
He knows...
He cares...
He shares...
In His Love,
Dianne
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